He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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