Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I will pee on everything he values.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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