Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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