It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
