i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
