I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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