I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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