I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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