Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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