im drinking this country out of the recession.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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