Umm I'm too high to move.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
this beer tastes like vomit already
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You need a sexual gate keeper
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
