2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
