dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Need sex. Gaining weight.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
This toilet bowl is my home.
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