We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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