I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I can't put those talents on a resume
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
