i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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