shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
