How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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