im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
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