Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
