i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
