You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
