Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize