walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
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