It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
