you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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