is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
