Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
