Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Boobs are out for the taking
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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