she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
