im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize