I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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