one word: firstdatebathroomanal
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
