He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
