its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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