i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
