everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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