i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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