Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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