First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
