If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
