something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
So vagazzling was a success
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
