Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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