That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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