so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
