brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
