Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
My vagina is officially offended.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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