I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
