So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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