but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
