She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
