Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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