Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
we made out on top of his cat.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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