i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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