Are we in a gay sports bar?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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